So what’s up with your body?
I have actually contemplated for a while if I would write this post. Sometimes it feels like when you talk about it or write it down it becomes real and up to that point you can try to ignore it. I have the tendency of pushing myself physically all the time. There’s a reason for […]
Warm blanket
So christmas was a bit rougher than I had wanted and it inspired me to think about what was going on and how it effects me. Why was I feeling that way and how could I make it better. I’m a very active person. At times I don’t realise this but it’s true, especially when […]
2017 – a year in review
And what a year it was. After the long road of getting to know myself and learning to deal with all the stuff in my head, shaping my body in a more fit vehicle for my brain it was time to make a few new steps. First and most important was getting off welfare in […]
Medication
About a week ago I went to the pharmacy and got my pills. It’s a very light dose of anti-depressants and also works against anxiety and OCD called Escitalopram. Usually the start dose is 10mg but I’m on 5mg a day. After about 10 days I should be able to feel some changes the papers […]
Depression
There has been stuff going through my mind that I would like to write down here. It just kept going on and on but not crystalising into a post. The last few weeks feel like that while I slowly felt my emotions starting to get the better of me. My first conclusion last night, was […]
How to give up control
It’s no secret that I’m an incredible controlfreak. I always feel that when I do something myself I know it’ll be up to my standards (which are often ludicrously high due to being a perfectionist) or more easily described as “done right”. But it’s not only in those cases where I hold on to my […]
Goals
So back from the trip to Gambia. I had a lot of time to think about some stuff. Besides this, i’ve been lucky to be included in a group for Old Town larp which will motivate me to do more with my creative side. So I set a few goals for myself between now and […]
Touch
Sometimes, it takes quite some time to come to a realisation about yourself. One of the first signs in this one i had in Berlin, where we did an excersize about touching and trust before a larp. Shaking hands went fine. Touching shoulders was fine. Some touched my lower arms. It came to a point […]
In control
Yesterday I had an interesting experience. I’ll be traveling soon to Africa and I need some extra vaccinations. My parents were going to take care of that with their doctor but I have the feeling the underestimated the inflexibility of my flexible work regarding trying to fix an appointment. So the travel date was getting […]
On a bad day..
Overall everything is going quite well. No more welfare, finances are well under control, i’m doing some nice things with friends, i started the astrophysics course and got over the bump of “omg i can or can’t do this”. So what happends on a bad day? Most of the time, I do manage to get […]