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open those eyes.

Posted by Pascalle on December 30, 2004 in Uncategorized |

Well.. mine are pretty much open most of the time.. but like tonight, it does give you something to think about.
On the television there were 2 shows. One about cleaning (how dirty is your house) and the other one about food (you are what you eat).

Those are two issues that i have. I have trouble keeping my house tidy. I’m trying, at times. Some times i’m not bothering. When i get a cleaning kick i just clean for 2 days straight, while it would be so much easier if i would just not let things get this messy.
I want to.. really.. but i’m scared that this is just something of my character that can’t be changed.

The food.. is different. I had my wake up call a month ago and it’s going pretty well. It’s hard when i have my period, but i try to keep on the track. The program i’m using also helps. I could still do better than i’m doing now. I know this, but it’s hard. very hard. People that say.. well.. you _just_ need to lose the weight should try it themselves for a change.
The program actually had some really good tips. Also about moods and which vitamins are good for which mood improvements. Energy levels.. those kind of things. Tomorrow will be a bad day, coz well.. it’s old year and hey.. you do have to give yourself a break some time.
I won’t binge though, and i’ll be carefull not to drink too much either. But i’m not going to say that i’m not going to eat anything. I’m having a party.
I’m very proud of the 8.5 kilos i lost and friends say that they can see it too. I can’t really.. strangely enough. I wanted to start cycling on my hometrainer when i reach 100 kilos.. but i’m going to start januari first.
Twice a week.. to start with and so i won’t force myself too much and get bored with it right away.

But at times.. it’s hard..
So hard that i just started crying.. but a friend of mine is on IRC and while talking to her, another friend of mine called. And they’re all so sweet and supportive.. it’s really cool.
Did i already mention today that i love my friends?

I love my friends.

*sigh*

*kicks the damn scale*
I’m not eating the fucking chocolate.. show some results.

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