For a long time the Universe has been a great interest of mine. It started when I was a small kid and my parents had one of those big books that come with the encyclopedia. It was about the earth and the solar system and I loved it. The next one was about mysteries and planets and UFO’s.
Than for a long time I didn’t do anything with it, until I found an interest again in atheist groups and watched youtube movies about the big bang and evolution theory.
I always loved Carl Sagan and read the most popular book of Stephen Hawking. I followed the work of Brian Cox, Neil Degrasse Tyson and Lawerence Krauss (I even named one of my cats after the latter: Krausje).
I have t-shirts with 100% recycled stardust on it. I took up the plan to go visit CERN next year.
It took a nice long conversation with a friend at a bar to finally pull me over a threshold that I had put up for myself. Insecureties if I would be able to do it. Could I pull it off?
So I enrolled in a course of Astrophysics of the Australian National University (by the website EDX <3 ) And it's awesome! The hard part is the math and the physics. I graduated math in highschool but only had 2 years of physics and it's almost 30 years ago. The symbols and numbers and making my head spin and are the real challenge here. I'm hitting the first homework part now and i'm terrified. My head keeps screaming "i can't do this it's too long ago, there's so many numbers and symbols and it's all garglethingy aaaaahhhhh!" So i take a deep breath and start at the beginning, and again.. and again.. and again.. until all those funny symbols and numbers start to make sense. In the mean time i feel like crying but i keep telling myself that i can do this, because you know, I can! Fuck you little voice in my head!