Sometimes, it takes quite some time to come to a realisation about yourself. One of the first signs in this one i had in Berlin, where we did an excersize about touching and trust before a larp. Shaking hands went fine. Touching shoulders was fine. Some touched my lower arms. It came to a point where i became so uncomfortable i asked the one i was doing the excersize with to stop (which he immediately did). The next step was a hug and weirdly enough i had a lot less trouble with that.
Cue the “me too” meme on the internet about women and sexual intimidation, haressement and assault. It was spoken about in a larp group as well and the topic of larpers and hugs was spoken about. I don’t mind hugging my friends. Even better, i really like hugging my friends because i don’t see them often and a lot of the time i miss them when our normal lives take so much of our time.
Than there’s the people you hardly or don’t know. For some time it felt like you also had to hug them too, because that was normal. Larpers are social people so they give eachother a hug.
It made me feel more and more uncomfortable, as it felt like for me total strangers, or vague aquaintences thought it was normal to hug me. It even felt like they expected me to give them a hug and it just generally made me feel bad.
In that larp group and right here is actually the first time i talked about this and i feel quite relieved.
The whole “me too” movement has made me think extra about concent, which is very important and which i will implement even more in my life in relations to others.