About a week ago I went to the pharmacy and got my pills. It’s a very light dose of anti-depressants and also works against anxiety and OCD called Escitalopram. Usually the start dose is 10mg but I’m on 5mg a day. After about 10 days I should be able to feel some changes the papers that came with the medicine said.
After 4 days I woke up and found something missing. It was that knot in my stomach which just always seemed to be there so I hadn’t really noticed it anymore until it had started to unravel. I sat down and wondered what it was, than realised that it was my anxiety. It had grown so slowly and was so ever present that I hadn’t noticed just how present it was. Now, almost 7 days later it’s almost completely gone. I feel rather chill and honestly it feels rather amazing. My mood has lifted out of the deeper depths it had been sinking into.
I was afraid that besides lifting the bad parts of my mood, it would also shave the top of the good parts of my mood, but so far this hasn’t happened. I do feel slightly nausious in the evenings after I have taken my little pill, which means I have no need for snacks or something. So I also don’t have to be afraid for the other side effects, gain weight. I do feel a little more fuzzy than usual, though I just see it like having a few more “blond moments” in a day than usual. Most of the time it just makes me giggle at myself.
So this, so far, is a win. This was a very good decision and we’ll see how it’ll go from here.