Warm blanket

Posted by Pascalle on January 3, 2018 in Uncategorized |

So christmas was a bit rougher than I had wanted and it inspired me to think about what was going on and how it effects me. Why was I feeling that way and how could I make it better.
I’m a very active person. At times I don’t realise this but it’s true, especially when I open my eyes and look around. I get ideas and just poke people and drag them along. This is normal for me. If I want to do something I get out there, plan it, make it happen.
So when I don’t do this and wait, nothing happends. I just sit there and see the world pass by with people doing stuff without me. I don’t know if this is because they’re so used to me doing the poking or they just forget or don’t care enough to include me in something. When this happends it hurts a lot. It makes me feel very alone and unloved (or unliked or however you want to call it). So when I noticed this I just made sure that I always do things because that feeling absolutely sucks.
So what did I miss? That feeling when someone comes to you and says.. “come.. we’re going to do this and that and I arranged everything, you just have to get in the car and enjoy the day”. That feeling as if someone is wrapping a warm blanket of care and love around you and you don’t have to actively do something to get it.
I’m relieved to say that it’s not like this never happends. It does. New year was a very good example of that and it was sorely needed too. My cousin did the “blanket wrapping” and i loved every minute of it. She knows how thankful I am for what she did.
It makes it easier to take charge again and make sure I’m included in fun stuff with all the people who don’t realise how this at times works for me. Because I need those social connections as in the end these are the things that pull me through the worst emotional patches.

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